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Someone in our office has diarrhea.

That, or we need an exorcist.

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Diarrhea at work is the WORST

At my job, I am the ONLY person who has a position in which I am not allowed by any means (even if sick, about to shit or piss myself, or vomit) allowed to leave my position without having someone watch the area. Long story short, it’s because it’s a secure area. Anyway I am literally the ONLY person without the “piss when you want to and walk around freely” right. I always have to bring my need to go to the bathroom to someone elses attention which makes me mad because what if I DO have a sudden urge to shit my brains out? What if I DO need to ralph? I essentially am screwed if no one can get to me on time. THAT SHIT SUCKS.

I have numerous issues with this but I will focus on the whole telling someone aspect. If I take a minute, my cover knows I just went pee. If I take 5 minutes, they know I was dropping the kids off at the pool. Also, the bathroom is in my general space so I hear every time someone lets one rip loudly and when they flush so naturally if you hear more than 1 flush, my cover knows I just pinched a loaf.

I JUST had a sudden urge to shit my pants. I have NO idea where it came from but I KNEW it wasn’t going to be solid stool and I had to call someone and let them know I needed to go I only hoped that they’d hurry without me having to TELL them to and full on alert them as to the brown hurricane that was about to rattle my drawers.
Needless to say, I did 2 flushes but took less than 2 min as we all know that butt squirts aren’t exactly time consuming. That was bad enough without the person from accounting walking in while I was just walking out of the shitty smelling stall. Awesome.

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Another effect of a warmer Earth

There has been a big Hoo-Ha for a long time now about Global warming and the effects of the warmer temperatures on our lovely Earth. I personally love Winter and having lived in a place where the seasons were experienced at their fullest and having those seasons suddenly change due to warmer weather it should go without saying that there was hardly a “winter” here in Northern Virginia and I am really disappointed/aggravated. I’m not a hot weather girl and it made me contemplate moving north just so I can be closer to the chill of winter air but then that thought came off as a little extreme seeing as how this is the only warm winter I’ve gone through like this so here’s to hoping that next year there is a break through in how to get Earth and Nature back on track….doubtful though.

Anyway, let’s talk about Cholera. Cholera bacteria lives in warm waters. It causes diarrhea so severe that it can kill someone within a week. With no improved sanitation, the rise in global temperatures will lead to deadly outbreaks. I think after crapping your brains out for a week, death is probably a relief.

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Diarrhea Prevention Tip.

Washing your hands with soap and water after going to the bathroom reduces diarrheal diseases by almost up to half. The simple ACT of Diarrhea is enough to convince ME anyway to wash my hands with soap.

I say this as if it’s not common sense to wash your hands with soap and water but you’d be surprised how often I’ve been to rest stops where I see women go to the bathroom and walk right out without washing their hands and sometimes without even flushing the damn toilet! Last week at my favorite bar, This girl knew people were waiting for the bathroom and she knew when leaving the toilet people would see her face and she didn’t flush OR wash her hands she just walked out. She left a nice mess on the toilet too and I couldn’t help but to think, ‘This girl has balls. She KNOWS we see her and we all know it’s her leaving behind this mess and she is not only showing that she is an inconsiderate slob, but she is unhygienic too!’ She didn’t even leave the bar so I made sure to tell EVERYONE at my table to avoid any type of contact with her if they happen to be near her and was close to grabbing the mic after Karaoke breaks and tell the whole bar that they shouldn’t share food with her, hug her, shake her hand, or allow her to touch them but I chose not to embarrass her but who knows if she’d even be embarrassed.

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